Heads for Grace, Tails for Reese

Cleanliness may be next to godliness, but the act of cleaning itself is a devil of a time.  Especially if you are a cell phone, and you belong to my wife. 

She has ruined no fewer than three cell phones since we have been together, all in the name of hygiene and cleanliness. 

Phone Sacrifice #1 was made at a party.  Stephanie and I had been dating about three months, and were doing the long distance thing at the time.  I was actually on my way to a wedding in South Carolina, and had been given the strictest instructions to "not forget" about her.  So I didn't.  After our traveling party checked into the Hampton Inn in Stone Mountain, GA, I set out to call her.  No answer.  I tried again later.  No answer.  Repeatedly through the night, and no answer.  I don't get word until THE NEXT DAY that Stephanie has somehow managed to deposit her phone into a frat house commode while, uh, cleaning out her bladder.

Or was that the time she dropped it into her drink?  Or maybe that was when she jumped in a fountain?

I know for SURE that she ruined one last year when she dropped her phone in the sink while BRUSHING HER TEETH.  Let that sink in.  Exactly what kind of conversation can you carry on when you are brushing your damn teeth?  It's apparently a form of the English language understood only by Steph and her sister.  And she gets mad at me for trying to tell her things while I'm yawning. 

So, Saturday, we were doing some house cleaning, and I was feeling good because we were actually doing something productive.  I was cleaning one bathroom, and Stephanie was cleaning the other.  I had actually taken a break to wash my face, and as I am rinsing I hear "OHMYGOD!!! OH NOOOOOOOOO!!!"

My heart stops, and I run into the master bathroom ( where this whole blog started, remember) with Proactiv  dripping off of one half of my face.  There is a pit in my stomach as I round the corner to take in my obviously very injured wife.

She isn't injured at all.  Her phone, on the other hand... is soaked. 

WHO TALKS ON THE PHONE WHILE THEY ARE CLEANING A TOILET????

After some debate, Stephanie decides that she wants an iphone.  She convinces her father that since he is due for an upgrade, he can get the new 3GS and give her his first-gen iphone.  Then my brother-in-law Jay decides he's going to get one, too.  That would leave me out, so Stephanie brokers a deal for me to get her aunt's old first-gen phone.

So now we all have iphones.  They are probably the best thing ever.  I'm seriously considering suggesting that we let the iphone name our child.  Middle name, at least.  Urbanspoon style.  Give it a good shake, and go with whatever we get.  I'm sure there's an app for that.  And if not, at the very least, we can narrow it down to two and flip a virtual icoin.  I KNOW there is an app for that.  I already have it.