Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Stephanie gives me a wake up call every morning.

She calls me at about 6:45 while she is moving her vehicle from the parking garage, where she parks when she arrives predawn, to the general employee parking lot. She doesn't necessarily wake me from a dead sleep, but if she doesn't call before I make it out of bed, she definitely calls while I'm on the toilet taking my first whiz of the day.

That's right. I sit down to pee. You should too.

Oh sure, it's all fun and games and jokes about having a vagina until that morning you wake up from a big night of drinking with a bladder voraciously demanding relief. You sit up like a shot in your bed, and groggily collect your senses. The bathroom is that way. You stumble into position, begin the process, and lock your knees to steady yourself.

Then you see your girlfriend hovering over you with a concerned look. How did she get in the bathroom so fast? Why are you lying on the floor? Weren't you just taking a piss?

You were. Until you passed the fuck out.

You see, sitting up quickly in bed lowers your blood pressure. So does urinating. So does locking your knees. All of those together in the right circumstance and out go the lights. It's called micturition syncope. It happened to me a couple of years ago, and scared me pretty good. I'm a big ole boy...260 lbs. And I fell backward through the bathroom threshold like someone doing a trust exercise, only there was nobody there to catch me.

So, anyway. I sit down to pee. Where was I?

Oh yeah. So Stephanie called me this morning and bitched about her job for 15 minutes. I don't mind her bitching about her job. I listen to it. But to wake up to it? I of course have no recourse. She's pregnant. Newly pregnant, at that. I jokingly chided her for it this afternoon.

Me: You know you woke me up this morning with a fifteen minute tirade about your job?
Her: I'm pregnant! I'm hormonal!
Me: Yeah, but just recently. What about the rest of the time?

So, she was a little bitchy today. She's also glowing.

Like, there really is a glow. It's an actual thing. She is even more beautiful now than she was last week. Or yesterday. Earlier this evening. Five minutes ago.

We haven't told anyone yet. We are debating when we should do this. She is almost four weeks. She hasn't even been to the doctor, although I think she's spent a considerable portion of her paycheck on pregnancy tests. What about Thanksgiving? Is that too soon? Is Christmas too late? Should we tell just family? Family and close friends? What about telling just our mothers?

So many questions. So few answers. We really are just a couple of kids trying to figure it out at this point. I can't wait until she's far enough along that we can tell people and receive support and advice. With that said, there is something very...magnetic...yes, magnetic, about keeping such a big secret from the world. It is definitely making our relationship stronger. I feel closer to Stephanie than ever. This is a very, very happy time in our life together.

Even the first fifteen minutes of the morning.